Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Afternoon

I prayed part of the Psalm from our prayer guide this afternoon.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Not pretty. I rarely invite people into my innermost thoughts. I'd have to explain too much, I feel. But, when I invite God (who actually is already there) to "search me...and know my heart" I get real nervous. God seldom leaves dirt on the walls or trash on the floor--stench I've learned to live with. And, then, to ask God to "test" me like a coach tests the strength of his team in tw0-a-days. Am I crazy? Why would I want that? I can seldom past the "do you trust me" test I'm given every day. No wonder I stay away from things like this. Yet, in this prayer is life.


Why would I ask God "if there is any offensive way in me?" That's a given. I offend people everyday...even those I love. But I will ask and wait for the list to be written. After all that, I do want God to "lead me in the way everlasting." That's really the point. Isn't it? In all the filth of my heart, the anxious thoughts that paralyze me, and all the offensive ways I hurt others, God is still willing to lead me in the way everlasting if I will follow Him.

God who loves me enough not to leave me like I am is a good and gracious God.

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